Circle of Courage Presents...
Vancouver Island Seminars
May 1-4, 2004
A summary of information…
Erlene Monteith & Lynn Anderson
Don’t Laugh At Me: Creating Ridicule-Free Environments
ADHD Disorder or Gift
Families: Circle of Courage
Life Space Crisis Intervention
No Disposable Kids –
Are At-Risk Students Being Forced From Our Schools?
Waging Peace: Developing Skills in Non-Violent Communication and Conflict Resolution
Building Blocks for Creating a Circle of Courage School
Disorder or Gift ?
The term “Attention Deficit” more accurately may be… “Attention Surplus”!
These vary but what is most notable is the:
- odd/extreme behaviors
- operating on little amounts of sleep (irregular sleep habits)
- self-concept (issues) not good in school
Other Symptoms/indicators include:
- wear-out clothes quickly (especially shoes)
- visit the washroom a lot
- wear down pencils to stubs (excessive breaking and/or sharpening)
- lose everything
- deny the truth… CATALYZE CONFLICT
(even when YOUR two eyes and/or ears WITNESS THEM DIRECTLY)
- few friends
4 Types of ADHD :
– O.N.S – (otherwise not specified) –
(many are placed in this grouping)
– HYPER – (like oppositional defiant)
cannot settle/very active, very focused on what THEY choose to do
– DOCILE – (like Aspergers)
Very settled/little movement but unable to remain focused
– COMBINED – (like hyperactive)
HYPER and CANNOT FOCUS
What Can ‘WE’ DO
…for ADHD Children?
1. AVOID adversarial attitudes!!! WORK TOGETHER!!!
2. MAINTAIN their ESSENSE!!! HIGHLIGHT their STRENGTHS!!!
Remember… “Don’t try to teach a pig to sing!”
3. INDIVIDUALIZE and use COMMON SENSE!!!
Plan LOGICALLY…give in small chunks!
- LOOK at child
- Say slowly
- Little chunks at a time
- Repeat back
4. Have a HEALTHY SKEPTICISM!!!
You don’t necessarily have to put them on a special diet…but investigate that healthy eating habits are occurring.
5. Use MEDICATIONS only as a LAST RESORT!!!
6. HOME and SCHOOL EDUCATION!!!
Make sure you set-up a routine for keeping home and school connected:
o sending notes home
o feedback (to and from)
7. ALTRUISM – LET THEM HELP!!!
Make sure this is GENUINE and NOT ARTIFICIAL
Use their TALENTS/INTERESTS
Give them chances and choices by PARTNERING and MENTORING
8. Employ KIND FIRMNESS!!!
“BE NICE” …Put CARING before CURRICULUM!
Learning takes place in a positive environment… so alter and adapt your expectations by having different (more realistic) requirements.
9. Have LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES!!!
Consequence the crime…but don’t make it PUNITIVE!
DISCIPLINE is like a wet bar of soap… if you hold it too loosely, you may drop it…and if you squeeze it too tightly…it will pop out of your hand!
It’s all a matter of BALANCE …
and following through on
10. Maintain a FLEXIBLE STRUCTURE!!!
Alter your expectations and amount given!
It is better to have 5 minutes of better … than 45 minutes of NOTHING!!!
11. Find them FRIENDS!!!
Help them to form relationships that will positively benefit them.
12. Be mindful of SIBLINGS!!!
Be careful that siblings of ADHD know and understand their sibling’s abilities and limitations…and that love and attention are as equal as possible.
13. Help them make WISE CHOICES!!!
ADHD persons NEED certain levels of chaos. If they do not have this need met…they will set own standards, self-medicate, and make unwise choices.
14. Have LONG TERM PLANNING!!!
If you are consistent…you can turn things around in the life of someone with ADHD.
15. Keep a NOTEBOOK of NOTEWORTHY EVENTS!!!
Keep track of positive/negative events that can be referred back to.
This notebook will allow for learning, growth and reflection. It can also be a source of support/information when needed.
LIFE SPACE CRISIS INTERVENTION
Steven Van Bockern
“Traditional crisis intervention relies on de-escalation, restraint, exclusion, and zero tolerance to manage volatile behavior.
Though these methods may establish order… these interventions alone do not help youth correct their CHRONIC patterns of SELF-DEFEATING behaviors.
LSCI - Life Space Crisis Intervention – provides reclaiming skills to enable us to move away from our narrow dependence on containment, coercion and exclusion.”
Before problems escalate…
- planned ignore
- eye contact
- planned restructuring/flexibility activity
- stay with routines/procedures
- antiseptic bouncing – re-direct
- choice/voice – Give the person the chance to talk about what is going on and/or choose to cooperate in some way
- acknowledge the EMOTIONS and give the person time/space to collect themselves
If any/all of these or other techniques do not work…
Waging Peace In Our Schools
The KEY to LEARNING is in being CONNECTED to FEELING!
Learning happens when we REMEMBER!
In order to REMEMBER… we need to FOCUS attention and have a RELAXED ALERTNESS to be ready to learn!
Feelings determine whether we can FOCUS or not.
Being EMOTIONALLY FLOODED prevents FOCUS.
Our FEELINGS determine our capacity to learn
(We will learn more easily if we remember that NEUTRALITY is the KEY!)
We use emotion in thinking and problem solving for:
We must not let our high emotions CONTROL US…
We must CONTROL our EMOTIONS effectively!!!
Our response to CONFLICT is AUTOMATIC!!!
We respond to CONFLICT in 3 WAYS:
AVOID – we mask or ignore the conflict
DIFFUSE – We WAIT or POSTPONE dealing with the conflict
CONFRONT – We may CONFRONT in 2 ways:
- VIOLENT: physical, psychological, verbal, threaten
- NON-VIOLENT – talk/discuss/hear others’ point of view/feelings
- agree to disagree (no attack)
- problem solve
- decide together
- generate many solutions
… or other CONFLICT RESOLUTION TECHNIQUES
In order to have PEACE and eliminate CONFLICT…
we can use the ‘PEACE SKILL’ of…
Active Listening involves:
- NO PREJUDGEMENT
- SUMMARIZING of what is said
- FOCUS on person talking
- Using the WISDOM of others (only be a witness!)
HOW CAN I BE AN ACTICE LISTENER???
a) PARAPHRASING – “I heard you say…”
(Recall/Retell what you heard them say)
b) ENCOURAGING – “Tell me more…” “Anything else?”
c) CLARIFYING – “When/Where/Why/How… did this happen?”
d) REFLECTING – “You seem upset/angry/sad…”
(STATE the feeling)
e) VALIDATING – “I’m glad you came to me.”
(express appreciation for their sharing)
Do not be so quick to SOLVE their problem…they just need you to hear them.
DO NOT ‘DISMISS’ what they are saying by talking about yourself. This may seem like empathy…but to the person who is troubled…you are just ignoring THEM.
CIRCLE OF COURAGE SCHOOLS
“We’re here to meet the needs of our kids.”
“We’re going to help you kids be successful!”
“WE will VALUE … what is TRULY VALUABLE.”
If NEEDS are MET… STUDENTS DO WELL !!!
If NEEDS are NOT MET… STUDENTS are PLACED ‘AT-RISK’
MOTIVATION = Expectations x Values x Safe Climate
CIRCLE OF COURAGE SCHOOLS
1. NEEDS-BASED VISION
2. BEST PRACTICE INSTRUCTION
3. BEST PRACTICE LEADERSHIP
4. STRENGTH-BASED DISCIPLINE
C of C Schools FOCUS ON:
ARTS as a vehicle for:
Oneness, Healing, Unity, Communication, Diversity,